Earlier this year I got to chatting about business with an acquaintance.
Just a guy I’d crossed paths once or twice a month at the gym over the years.
But we’d become relatively open with what we were doing outside of it.
“I just signed more contracts, new work, I’m almost at capacity now.”
Those were the first words he said to me just before nailing a solid 140kg clean and jerk.
All I could think was “That’s fuck*ng amazing”.
To both the C&J and the new contracts.
The last time we’d spoken, that was his goal.
He’d done it.
“I feel like a fraud!” He quickly added.
But I started to see where he was going with it.
“I’m not even good at this! What happens when these clients find out?”
That bit got me.
Not because I believed him.
But because those were the exact words I’d said to myself.
More than once.
In-fact, I’d said that more than 10 years earlier after landing my first job in marketing. Well before ever starting a business.
Imposter syndrome!
A war against yourself.
I first thought it was just me being neurotic.
I’ve since learnt that it’s the solopreneur condition.
It’s something that most solopreneurs... heck, anyone building a business, will go through at some point in their journey.
As a matter-of-fact, I think I’ve seen somewhere that something like 70% of people in general that will experience it at some point in their lives.
It doesn’t take much to set off that mental switch.
You land a new client but immediately start to doubt if you can even service them.
You get called an “expert” and have people refer business to you.
You get hired to speak in front of an audience, but fear they’ll think you don’t belong there.
The very nature of imposter syndrome is that it makes you feel anxious, of low self-esteem, and guides you towards burnout.
Which all leads to:
Undercharging
Avoiding certain customers
Turning down new opportunities
Fearing further success and accomplishments
Less time working, and more on trying to validate your success
I know from experience.
And I’ve seen it develop in others. In people that I’ve managed and those who I’ve worked alongside.
The Reframe
That first time, when I’d thought it was just me being neurotic, I let it play it’s course and eventually other things in life washed it away.
But after the second and then third time, I figured it out... after all of the negatives.
See, at least for me, what caused it to come about was simply something new.
Taking on a new responsibility or expanding a service to include a slightly new deliverable. Not because of the fact that I might not have done them before, I love taking on new things, but because I believed I might not have had all of the knowledge needed for them. Which led to the fear of having to potentially ask someone for help.
And that’s the moment I realised imposter syndrome isn’t proof that you don’t belong.
It’s proof that you’re growing.
Becoming better.
Developing.
Learning.
Maybe it doesn’t directly indicate growth, but it sure does accompany it.
Because it begins to creep in when you’re pushing the boundaries, not when you’re sitting still.
And, isn’t that part and parcel with being a solopreneur?
Trying new things.
Pushing the boundaries.
Putting yourself into uncomfortable scenarios.
To be fair, both new and successful solopreneurs feel completely qualified. Most of us are probably still figuring a lot of it out as we go.
A New Relationship With Doubt
While knowing that it accompanies growth, I don’t think it’s necessarily right to say you should embrace it. Imposter syndrome often develops, or increases the effects of, things like anxiety or depression.
But forming a new relationship with doubt is what we want to aim for. Being able to continue growing and move forward despite it.
In other words, rather than trying to silence it, it’s more productive to listen to it and re-evaluate what it means.
For example:
“I have no idea what I’m doing right now” just means “I’m learning something new”
“I don’t deserve this” really means “I’ve learned a lot and worked hard”
“I don’t belong here” means “Someone saw potential in me and I’ve earnt this”
“People will discover I’m a fraud” means “They’ll see I’m human and honest about what I do”
And I think the biggest thing you can do in this situation is to ask yourself this very powerful question:
“What proof do I actually have that I don’t belong?”
You’ll find it’s almost impossible to answer honestly.
You Belong
So back to my gym buddy.
I challenged him on those thoughts for the rest of the gym session.
We spoke between sets and finished up on a high-note.
The next week when we’d crossed paths again, he’d also come to the realisation that it was simply a by-product of growth. The doubt and emotions were all part of the journey.
He’d reframed the way he thought about it and kicked off those new projects without hesitation. In-fact, he’d locked in another client in those 5 days which brought him to capacity.
Honestly, the most successful solopreneurs and business owners I know still feel like imposters sometimes. It’s not exactly a rare conversation. But they’ve all just learned to take it in their stride and know that it’s a marker of their growth.
And you can do the same.
Until next time,
Jye
